Getting to the Heart of Anger & Conflict


All Sinful Anger Is Not Caused by Provoking Situations & People But by Idolatrous Desires of the Heart – James 4:1-10
(James 4:1-10 NASB)  What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? {2} You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. And you are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask. {3} You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures. {4} You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. {5} Or do you think that the Scripture speaks to no purpose: "He jealously desires the Spirit which He has made to dwell in us"? {6} But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, "GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE." {7} Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. {8} Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. {9} Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning, and your joy to gloom. {10} Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.
Answer each question below as honestly as you cannot based on the truth of the verse quoted first, but on your own natural inclination.  The more honest and descriptive the better the scripture will apply.  After completing this assignment write a prayer of confession seeking forgiveness from God through Christ and then go to those you have hurt and seek their forgiveness. (Use “Four Memos When Seeking Forgiveness” to help.)  Begin to prayerfully memorize this passage word for word, a phrase at a time 10 minutes a day until it is completely memorized.  Complete a “Practical Biblical Meditation” for each of the following portions: James 1:1-3; 4-6; 7-9; 10
1. Who is to blame for your anger & fighting?
“What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members?” (vs 1)

2. Does God agree with your issue? Have you asked him about giving you the things you are angry about?
“You do not have because you do not ask God.” (vs 2)
3.  Have you idolized a good thing above God? Do you want this so you can glorify God and love others better or just because it benefits you?  
“You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.” (vs 3)
4. Do you see your anger and fighting as offensive as God does? It is spiritual adultery before Him.  Until you see this you will not hate and weep over that which your heart idolizes more than Him.
“You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God?” (vs 4)
5.  Are you willing to "draw near" to God for satisfaction when you are denied that which you desire and typically fight over?
“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” (8)
6.  Will you identify & repent of all angry expressions  of such adultery/idolatry with a godly sorrow? Make such a list.
“Cleanse your hands, you sinners (8) and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”
7.  Who can exalt you more, the Lord or that which you idolize?  Replace disappointment and fighting with expectant humility before the Lord

                    “Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.”(10)

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