Unity in Relationships

by Tim Bryant This is sample instructions and assignment that I send to two people in conflict before I get started intensively counseling them in biblical reconciliation. The assignment included often helps the two people in conflict get properly and quickly oriented for the Lord to do a work of reconciliation in their relationship. Dear I am contacting you in hope of leading you through a biblical process of seeking unity with one another that will lead to: 1) God deepening his work of change in your lives, 2) God glorifying Himself in those changes to one another, and 3) God making your fellowship with one another encouraging and enjoyable and edifying.  Sanctification and transformation into the likeness of Christ is never completed until heaven, and disagreements and conflicts in relationships are opportunities for each of us to see how to deepen that work. I want to make it clear that the success of this entire process is dependent on two things: 1)...

The Bible says we are to "preserve" unity not "produce" it - "being diligent to preserve the unity" (Ephesians 4:3).  When we try to make our spouse be more unified and pleasant toward us we begin to have wrong actions and attitudes.  Our goal must be instead to influence change not make things change.  We do this by diligently applying the four attitudes mentioned in the previous verse (Ephesians 4:2), "with all humility, gentleness, patience, and forbearance in love".  But this is not easy to do when things are going so very poorly – when the love given is not returned - when indifference, selfishness and disappointment is the norm.  Certainly there are many times God's Word instructs us to speak to our spouse about such things. (Ephesians 4:15, 26-27, 29-30). But what will motivate loving responses like humility, gentleness, patience, forbearance as we decide how and when to speak and to deal with all this? We do this by having a he...