How To Promote Unity in Your Marriage
The Bible says we are to "preserve" unity not "produce" it - "being diligent to preserve the unity" (Ephesians 4:3). When we try to make our spouse be more unified and pleasant toward us we begin to have wrong actions and attitudes. Our goal must be instead to influence change not make things change. We do this by diligently applying the four attitudes mentioned in the previous verse (Ephesians 4:2), "with all humility, gentleness, patience, and forbearance in love". But this is not easy to do when things are going so very poorly – when the love given is not returned - when indifference, selfishness and disappointment is the norm. Certainly there are many times God's Word instructs us to speak to our spouse about such things. (Ephesians 4:15, 26-27, 29-30). But what will motivate loving responses like humility, gentleness, patience, forbearance as we decide how and when to speak and to deal with all this? We do this by having a he...